Chuka iidako: best way to cook baby octopi (中華いいだこ)

he only time when paedophilia is cool is when it comes to food. Think lamb and mutton. Or young chick and old cock. Although there may not be nothing wrong with old cock, we all still do prefer young blood to old tuskers in our kitchen.

Chuuka iidako (中華いいだこ)　is the Japanese idea of a Chinese recipe for baby octopi (in my opinion, that's the most decent sounding plural for octopus). Call me weird, that was as close to turkey as I got for my Christmas 2009 dinner. The rest was mostly raw fish.

Anyways, here's the recipe you were looking for:

10 baby octopussies (there you go!)
one can kidney beans
one can diced tomatoes
400 g minced beef
one onion
one stalk of celery
3 big chili peppers (quantity varies depending on the hotness factor of the peppers you are using)
salt, pepper, allspice powder, bouillon cube

1. Rinse the octopi well in running water. Smash the heads and remove the intestines. Bring a pot of water to boil, put a few tea leaves and the octopi for about 30 seconds.
2. Stir-fry the mince with a bit of oil in a frying pan, when the meat is done, add finely chopped onions and celery as well as the de-seeded and chopped chili peppers, crushed bouillon cube and the seasoning.
   
3. Drain kidney beans and add them to the pan together with the tomatoes.
   
4. Cut the octopi lengthwise and add to the pan. Stew on low fire for 30 minutes.

Enjoy!